Category Archives: food

nom, nom, nom

2 black bean salads

Because many people have asked for my black bean salad recipes. And I think these should reside on my own website other than a third party host. 😛

quinoa black bean salad with corn & avocado

1 can of black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can of corn, drained and rinsed
1 avocado, diced
2-3 cloves garlic, finely minced
couple teaspoons flax seeds
sesame oil, salt, and fresh ground pepper to taste
1 cup quinoa
2 cups water

Bring water and quinoa to a boil, cover, and simmer over low heat. Simmer for about 15 minutes, or until all liquid is absorbed. Remove from heat and let stand for 5 minutes. Fluff with a fork and mix in the rest of ingredients.

Kasha salad

Bring to boil 1 cup kasha in 2 cups water, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from heat.

Mix in:
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can corn, drained and rinsed
1/2 or 1 whole medium red onion, diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped
1 avocado, diced
salt & pepper to taste
squeeze of 1 lime
splash of apple cider vinegar (optional)

3 ingredient recipe – simply at its best

Simple Chinese broccoli (gai-lan)

You will need:
– a handful or two of Chinese broccoli, nicely washed
– good quality sesame oil (for the love of what’s good and holy, stay away from those cheap adulterated oil blend junk)
– tamari

1. Bring a pot of water to a roaring boil.
2. Take the broccoli and cut into bite sized pieces.
3. Submerge the broccoli for a minute or two, then drain well.
4. Drizzle lightly with sesame oil and tamari to taste. Toss and serve with rice and other sides.
5. Eat and enjoy.

[orginally published on LiveJournal]

Baked Irish Oats

1 cup steel cut Irish oatmeal
3 cups skim milk (or soy/nut based milk if you want to veganize)
1/4 cup olive oil
3 ounces of any dried fruit of your choice (I like cherries and raisins.)
2-3 fresh apples, peeled and diced or sliced
spices to taste:
they can either be the prepackaged apple spice blend,
or a combination of cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, cardamon,
or even your favorite chai blend.

Mix oatmeal, milk, and oil in a casserole dish and set aside while you cut up the apples. Then stir in the dried fruit, spices, and apples. You can arrange the half the apple slices on top all fancy like and dust with spices, but it’s not necessary. They’ll taste just as good.

Bake in a 375 degree oven for 1 hour.

Another white trash recipe

Spam & pasta with mushroom sauce

1 16 oz. box of pasta shells
1 can Spam, diced
1 can cream of mushroom soup

Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain and return to pot.
Add soup + 1 can water.  Mix until it’s saucy.  Now add the Spam. Eat.

White Trash Cooking

Two recipes. Yay.

Starburst Pie
Take a package of orange flavored Jello. Prepare jello according to directions. Blend in 8 oz. of sour cream. Pour into prepared graham cracker pie crust and chill until set. Decorate with sliced strawberries, kiwis, and bananas.

Pasta salad
8 ounces pasta (bowtie, spirals, orecchiette, wagon wheels, or cavatelli)
2 cups frozen mixed vegetables
Italian-style salad dressing to taste

Cook pasta according to package directions. While the pasta is cooking, put frozen vegetables in a colander. When the pasta is done, pour over vegetables in colander and rinse with cool water. Drain well. Put pasta and vegetables in a big bowl, toss in salad dressing to taste.

If you’re feeling fancy and extravagant, you can also throw in some olives and/or tuna.

How to make a quick “Grilled” Cheese Sandwich.

You’ll need:

2 slices of bread
2 slices of cheese
A toaster
A microwave

First toast the bread in the toaster. Take them out when done.
Then lay the toasts on a plate.
Take the cheese and lay each slice on top of the toasts.
Place the plate in the microwave and nuke on high for 15-20 seconds until the cheese is melted.
Put the two pieces together.
Eat.

Haleem

Haleem is a porridge type dish originating from South Asia and Middle East. It is traditionally made with meat, wheat, lentils, and spices and slowed cooked for several hours.

Here is my vegetarian version I developed the other day.

Pumpkin Haleem (Vegetarian)

2 pounds pumpkin, peeled and cubed
1 large onion, peeled and sliced
1 cup dried wheat
1/2 cup yellow split peas
1/2 cup lentils
3 tablespoons garlic & ginger paste
1-2 tablespoon(s) garam masala
1-2 teaspoon(s) chilli powder
2 teaspoons coriander powder
1 heaping teaspoon turmeric
1 heaping teaspoon cumin powder
1 heaping teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 heaping teaspoon salt
1 heaping teaspoon cloves powder
2 tablespoons olive oil or any other oil of your choice
2 quarts water

1. Soak the wheat, peas and lentils in cold water overnight and drain.

2. Heat olive oil in a large pot and cook onions until soft. (About 5 minutes)

3. Add the garlic & ginger paste and the spices.

4. Add pumpkin, wheat, peas, lentils, and water. Bring to boil, then simmer on low flame, stirring occasionally for about 2-3 hours.

5. Mash the haleem to a near smooth consistency with a potato masher.

6. Serve with any toppings or condiments of your choice: sliced green jalapeño, chopped fresh cilantro, ginger matchsticks, fried onions, mango chutney, lime chutney, raita.

How to eat a soft boiled egg. (a tutorial)

Baffled on how to properly eat a soft boiled egg? Fear not, I can show you how!  With this handy snarktastic guide you’ll be able to expertly tackle these eggs in no time!

This post was inspired by a group of Chinese tourists in Austria who spoke no English or German and had absolutely no clue about Western food. And then to top it all off, they had the gall to loudly complain in Mandarin that the food is not like back home.

egg tutorial part 1

egg tutorial part 2

egg tutorial part 3

 

A couple more tips:
1. If you’re trying an unfamiliar food for the first time and don’t like the taste of it, discreetly and quietly spit it into a napkin. There’s no need to make a yuck face and chuck the food onto the next placemat.

2. Don’t hock a loogie on the side of your plate. That’s just nasty.